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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

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By Marcia Wieder
See all Articles by Marcia WiederSee Marcia Wieder&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Behavior ModificationGet Updates on Marcia Wieder Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Six Serious Fear Busters
By Marcia Wieder, founder Dream University and DreamCoach.com
Interview your Doubter and be curious. Capture its needs, insights and wisdom by completing these sentences (multiple times):
Are you more committed to your dream or to your fear?
Life will rush in, systems will fall apart and you may have meltdowns. Being a coach doesn’t mean you won’t have setbacks or ever be afraid. Quite the contrary. It’s incredibly freeing to fail without considering yourself a failure or to be afraid and to risk any way. Successful coaches have ups and downs and live to tell. By sharing your life’s experiences and magical moments of fear and of courage, you best serve your clients and the world.
4. Here’s a critical and proven point. Beliefs are never neutral. They either move you forward or hold you back, but you choose what to believe. The way to move from limiting beliefs that hold you back to empowering beliefs that move you forward is through willingness, courage and practice. Be willing to believe in yourself and your dreams have the courage to act on what you believe. Develop this as part of your identity by practicing this behavior continuously until it becomes true.
Example: Obstacles List (for your dream to grow your practice)
• I don’t know how. (belief and strategy)
• I’m afraid I will fail. (belief)
• I don’t have the money. (strategy)
• I’m too tired. (belief and strategy)
Marcia Wieder has helped thousands of people worldwide achieve their personal and professional dreams. To join her global communiyt of dreamers and receive a free Jumpstart Your Dream kit,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], go to [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] . Here you’ll find info on Marcia’s programs [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Key Points
1. Separate your dreams from your fears.
2. Clearly recognize your doubts.
3. Identify if your obstacles require belief or strategies.
4. Prove that you believe in your dream by taking action.
5. Learn the necessary skills or get assistance.
6. Talk to every one you meet and master enrollment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
“What I need from ______________ (your name) is _____________________.&#8221,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Example: “What I need from Jenny is for her to have faith, to get help, to breathe.”
The number one way we sabotage our dreams is by saying things like, “But, what if?” and imagining the worst. But, what if I…
If your dream is to write a book but you can’t type or are computer-phobic, this doesn’t have to stop you. Learn a new skill or hire someone. If you can’t afford that, explore bartering. If you are branching out into a new area and lack knowledge or experience, educating yourself is essential, but does it make more sense to take a class or would it be faster and easier to find a mentor? Get creative and get going. The time you waste worrying would best be used seeking guidance and finding answers.
Build an arsenal of winning behaviors and people that you can reach out to in a pinch. There’s nothing worse then feeling desperate and having no place to turn. Develop a robust database of brilliant resources that you can access at any given moment. Build a community of fellow dreamers or join one that already exists: [link widoczny dla zalogowanych][link widoczny dla zalogowanych].com.
Do you dream of a business and /or life where you have impact, contribute to others, and maintain a certain lifestyle? As you get closer to fulfilling this dream (or any others) don’t be surprised when doubt and fear surface. But rest assured that there are simple and practical steps you can take.
6. Overcome fear and other obstacles (even time and money issues) by enrolling others into your vision. Master this skill and you’ll accomplish bigger dreams with less effort. One of the most powerful ways to overcome the fear of not having clients/making enough money is to be able to talk to anyone, anytime and anyplace about their dreams in a way where they feel inspired. Ask what their personal or professional dreams are and explore how you can help them achieve what they want. Build enough value and the objection around cost often disappears. Here are the key steps:
5. Are you aware of what typically stops you? For most of us, its having to do something we hate, we’re not good at, or that we have no idea how to tackle. It can be frightening and when that task is essential to the success of your venture, it could be your demise. Don’t allow one need or issue to destroy your dream. Here are some options.
• Identify the block or area of concern.
• Decide if you are going to tackle it yourself.
• If not, find someone who can do it with or for you.
• Hire them or trade for something they need.
• Get back into action on the areas where you excel.
“When I am running _____________’s (your name) life, I _________________.”
Example: “When I am running Jenny’s life, I keep her too busy to focus on what’s important.”
The first step in managing fear is to identify exactly what you are afraid if. Just saying, “I’m afraid,” can be a whitewash and keep you stuck Identify what you fear. If you are afraid you can’t make a good living as a coach, explore ways to check out your assumptions or to get training. Go secure a paying client, find a mentor coach who can help you figure out what to charge or inspire you to raise your fees,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or sign up for a program like Coach & Grow Rich.
“The way I sabotage ____________’s (your name) dream is _______________.”
Example: “The way I sabotage Jenny’s dream is by having her doubt herself and quit.”
3. Your Doubter can provide a list of obstacles based on its fears and concerns, which are either limiting beliefs (an internal job) or require a plan (an external job). Some obstacles may be both and they can be real or imagined. The Dream Coach rule is, wherever there’s an obstacle design a strategy to manage it. Make a list of your obstacles and identify which ones are negative self-perceptions or beliefs and which ones require strategies.
1. If you feel afraid or indecisive, this simple exercise can help you stabilize. Draw a line across the center of a paper. On the top, write your dream in as much detail as possible. On the bottom, write out your reality (about this dream) including your fears, doubts and “but what ifs”.
1. Establish rapport and relationship
2. Build value by asking good questions. If you’re not interested, move on (or refer another coach).
3,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Overcome objections by revisiting steps #1 and 2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
4. Secure an agreement by negotiating as needed. It could be for a meeting, a complimentary session or to begin your paid coaching relationship. If your prospect says no,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be courageous and ask why. Make specific requests allowing it to be easy for others to say yes.
Unreasonable thoughts attack your rational mind, inventing terrifying tales, which further justify or magnify your fears. When you hear yourself say or think, “But, what if,” you are caught in a common pattern of projecting fear and doubt into your dream. With this thinking, as you move toward your dream, you’ll also move toward your fears and worst nightmares. With too much to risk, most of us give up or never even begin.
• Fail
• Succeed
• Say or do the wrong thing
• Don’t know the answer
&#8226,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; Get a client
• Don’t get enough clients
• Can’t quite cut it
• Don’t make enough money
2. As you connect to your dreams or at different intervals along your path, you’ll often run into the voice of your “Doubter.” We typically ignore or obsess over this aspect, because it tells us everything that might go wrong. Left unattended, this voice can be disruptive. But turn the Doubter down and it becomes the voice of the “Realist,” who primarily wants to know what you are planning, usually related to time and money issues. Early on, you may not have it all the details figured out, which is why going to strategy too soon can actually hinder or limit your dream.
Two things will cause you to be more committed to your fear. First, if you don’t have a clearly defined dream. Second, if you project your worst fears into your dream, you’ll choose reality because it’s safer. But when fear is placed in its proper place, as part of reality, it is easier to be more committed to your vision and fear simply becomes something to manage.
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Sometimes there is no evidence that this is the right time to pursue your dream, especially if you focus on your fear, or even some aspects of reality. Don’t look in your checkbook,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the stock market or in the approval of others for evidence of whether or not you should be afraid or believe in your dream. The place to look to is in your own heart. Can you believe in something because it matters to you and demonstrate that you believe in it by taking action? This is where powerful breakthroughs occur.
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Let’s look at some facts about ADD and ADHD: people have long observed a cluster of symptoms that occur in a person of average or above average intelligence who seems unable to function in a competent, masterful way.

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The first track Shenzhen index of overseas listed in Hongkong ETF
2010-01-28 21:18:39&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
social commentary in the Hongkong on 28 January,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], / in Shenzhen 100 index listed fund 28, listed on the Hongkong stock exchange, this is the first track Shenzhen index overseas ETF products. It is released by tracking, Shenzhen Shenzhen securities information management of Shenzhen 100 index.
Xinhua reported, according to the Shenzhen stock exchange concerned 28,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the Shenzhen 100 index is one of the core index, Shenzhen, represents the market characteristics of the Shenzhen market multi-level,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], high growth, innovative. Shenzhen 100 Index constituent stocks of good growth, with a prominent investment value, the index since the release date to the end of 2009,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nearly 4 years,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], has nearly 350% return performance index,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is one of the few to outperform.
the market here said, Shenzhen 100ETF listed in Hong Kong, is the implementation of the mainland and Hongkong closer economic partnership arrangement,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], substantive initiatives to strengthen the cooperation between Shenzhen and Hong Kong stock market, provides a new platform for foreign investors to invest in China multi level capital market.
from Shenzhen statistics, as of the end of 2009,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], issued by tracking the Shenzhen 100 Index Fund has 3,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], total asset scale of about 47000000000 yuan. Among them, listed in Shenzhen Fonda Shenzhen 100ETF have made index fund,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the first open-end fund performance fourth outstanding achievements in 2007,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 2009.
ETF, Exchange Traded Funds is the English abbreviation, Chinese meaning is "exchange traded index fund".
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That is exactly what you need to do. Accept that you did the best you could with the abilities and awareness you had at the time, accept that you cannot change the past,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and recognize that it is your responsibility to live your life to the best of your ability today. When you look back at your past with the insight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], maturity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and knowledge you have today,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you probably would have made a different choice if you were the person you are today, but you weren't.
Author's Bio:
The promise that you have from the Lord is that your mistakes can be used for your good and God's glory. Look for ways for God to redeem your past. God wants you to forgive yourself and let go of your past so you can live your life free from its burden. God has forgiven you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Can you make a decision to forgive yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
By Karla Downing
See all Articles by Karla DowningSee Karla Downing's Expert PageGet Updates on Relationship AdviceGet Updates on Karla Downing Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Are you struggling with forgiving yourself for things you have done and haven't done? Many people have more trouble forgiving themselves than other people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It can be especially hard when the consequences of your actions have hurt others and there is no way to remove them.
King David gave us a beautiful example of letting go of our mistakes. In 2 Samuel 11-12,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], David was struggling with God's message to him that his son conceived in adultery with Bathsheba would die. He was distraught, refused to eat, and secluded himself to pray and plead with God to spare his son. When the son actually died,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the servants were afraid to tell David because they didn't know if he could bear it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as he was already so upset. When they told him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], David did something surprising: he got dressed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], came out, and ate. He explained his actions by saying he couldn't do anything more to save his son and now had to live his life.
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Let’s look at some facts about ADD and ADHD: people have long observed a cluster of symptoms that occur in a person of average or above average intelligence who seems unable to function in a competent, masterful way.

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Step 1- Be honest with yourself. How solid is your self-confidence? Love yourself, live bodly and jump into life. Step into your power and posture and stop living small. Commit to confidence today.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Step 6- Take great care of yourself. This is magic. Health is your greatest asset and if you don’t take extra special care of it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what’s the point of success. I remind myself each morning that I am truly grateful for health and it is my top priority. I created a simple program if you’re inspired to get started on delicious optimal health journey
Step 3-Surround yourself with abundant, extraordinary and inspiring people. Be true to who you are and be very honest with yourself. Spend your time with people who make you hyper with excitement and inspire you to be better. I want to emphasize here to be cautious though that you don’t fall in the competitive trap in an unhealthy way. It is very easy to let your ego take over and start a conversation your mind ‘look what she’s doing’,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ‘I should be there already’, ‘Why am I not as ahead as he is?’. Take good notes on these mental conversations. Beware! A little competition is good to keep you living outside your comfort zone but if it makes you feel tense and stressed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stop comparing yourself. Be you and be the best you! You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Be present!
Step 5- Motivate yourself. For those who are truly committed to leadership, self-motivation is key. Speak,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], write,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], connect, create and engage in all the activities that make you feel amazing and inspired. For the occasional days where motivation is lacking, rely on resources and mentors you love to inspire you!
Step 2- Create your 1-2 page delicious 2-year intention map. This is truly the lifestyle, income and juicy things that are on their way to you. The secret ingredient that all successful people add to their success recipe is writing down where they in
tend to be. They don’t leave their life to chance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they create based on their passions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], their gifts and their intentions. Write out your 2 year intention map today (date this page 2 years from today and write in the present tense). What income will you be earning 2 years from today? Where will you be living? How does your day start each day? Do you live on the ocean? Do you live a travel lifestyle? Do you go on 10 trips a year? Be clear on what lifestyle you want 2 years from today. This will help you ensure you have the appropriate income vehicle(s) to get you there.
Step 4- Create space for the abundance you seek. If your life is filled with clutter, junk and stress that is not aligned with where you want to be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will remain stuck. Commit today to create space in your life for the new peace,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], new income, and new abundance you know is on its way. Last week, my fiancé and I sold a boat, a house and a car to make space for the global travel we are doing this year. We are free spirits and thrive when we feel light, spacious and free.
I like to think of it as a daily leadership recipe. But with this recipe, I encourage and invite extra ingredients such as magnetic energy, optimal health and a million TBSP’s of creativity.
There is something intriguing and hot about people who act incredibly successful even before seeing any results. I have this eternal admiration for so many of my cyber pals and authors who radiate self-confidence, love and success through my computer screen. This leadership posture is not by chance, it is by absolute choice. When I started my entrepreneurial venture 8 years ago, I was blessed to have the most amazing mentors to guide me. My intention today is to share some key insights with you in hopes that you will be pumped to rock your biz and your life and live boldly every day!
When following this recipe, the foundation is a commitment to think like all abundant and successful people do- To act as if it were impossible to fail. Life is simply more peaceful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], zen and happy when you live each day this way. The universe has your back so why not leave your stressing and fears behind and save that beautiful blissful energy for creating your most amazing life.
By Leanne Grechulk
See all Articles by Leanne GrechulkSee Leanne Grechulk's Expert PageGet Updates on LeadershipGet Updates on Leanne Grechulk Average: 3.333335 Your rating: None Average: 3.3 (3 votes) Tweet
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in the assessment of director of Hongkong on 12 January,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and the Hongkong SAR Government Environment Bureau Qiu Tenghua expresses 12 days,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], based on the consideration of environmental protection and the budget, the SAR government to hold public banquets and dinner is generally not including shark 's fin.
Qiu Tenghua said in a written reply to questions that members of the Legislative Council, HKSAR government to public banquets and dinners are equipped with the budget cap, in order to avoid the decent over to other luxury, for environmental considerations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the SAR government party and dinner is generally not including shark 's fin.
Qiu Tenghua said, as the world's most important trading center in the shark 's fin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shark' s fin for the ingredients of the dish are the common dishes in Hongkong. But with the improving environmental groups called for and public awareness of environmental protection, people to meet between food and environmental issues more and more attention.
he said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at present Hongkong legislation has been the "endangered species of Wild Fauna and flora" requirements of the Convention on international trade regulation concerning shark species in the port trade,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], at the same time, the AFCD by holding a series of activities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to raise public awareness on the protection of endangered species. Last year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], AFCD held 32 endangered species exhibition, 37 lectures,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and received more than 7000 people visit the endangered species resource centre.
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Moreover, networking is also termed as the mainstay for any business, as it is the best possible way of communication, since it suits all types of computers and phone infrastructures.

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Now that I’m “in charge,” I prefer not to do anything special for company. I turn the lights on … and, okay, I’ll put some makeup on, but only if they’re announced. I explained to dinner guests one night—maybe to their chagrin—that I planned dinner based on what I had on hand. We live 14 miles from the nearest grocery store,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but mostly I just want to be me. I want to be accepted the way I am—pink dress, dinner, and all!
Consider this, though: When we get scared, we lose some of our God-given ability to reason. Brain scans show that when we experience feelings of fear, large areas in our lower brain are activated. Makes sense because that’s where “fight or flight” is triggered. What’s interesting is that when we’re scared, brain scans also show that areas in the higher brain get deactivated. The higher brain is responsible for: Creativity, problem solving, reasoning, reflection, self-awareness, kindness, and empathy. No wonder we just want to fight or run. What else can we do when we get stuck in the reptilian brain? Actually, there is a third, lesser discussed, option when we are faced with an overwhelming threat. Physiologists call it the immobility response. It’s an altered state better known as playing possum, in which no pain is experienced. The problem with that option is that unless we find a means, as wild animals do, to discharge all the energy we “freeze,” it’s bound up in our nervous system setting the stage for trauma! Maybe the key is not to get stuck choosing fight, flight, or immobility, but rather to recognize fear before we yield to it … before we deactivate reason and love.
One of my first memories, without any prodding, is of getting my picture taken in first grade. I still have the photo of little Jan,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], looking rather sweet I think, with big brown eyes and long brown curls in a pink dress with one of those fabric flowers pinned at the neckline. Okay, now that I think about it, maybe I looked a little forlorn. Anyway, the part I remember best without looking at the photograph is Gail Reece (not her real name) telling me that my dress was ugly. She was the tallest girl in first grade, and I was standing behind her in line when she turned around and said the words that sent me running from the school bus and crying to my mom, “Gail said my dress was ugly.” Mom said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Honey, it’s a pretty little dress; maybe she was just jealous.” Nice try. But Mom had already unwittingly taught me to worry about what everybody else thought. There was the well-meaning, “Honey, do you want people to think you don’t have any manners?” and “I want you to be on your best behavior.” Maybe what Mom was trying to teach me was to avoid rejection. But it felt like the everyday me wasn’t good enough to win approval … and that even the “picture-perfect” me risked rejection?
Recently, I was having a heart-to-heart with my friend Mary Ann. Usually, she talks a lot, and I talk a lot. We explore deep things; we interrupt each other, ask questions, analyze, and change the subject. This conversation was different. I was talking more; and she was listening more. She said that she was seeing a part of me that she didn’t usually see, the part that’s not fine.
By Jan Denise
My tough mother taught me to be tough. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. I respected teachers and bosses for their tough demands. They taught me to deliver the goods. I remember a favorite line from one boss, “Spare me the excuses and do it.” I only had to hear it once. Never had to hear it directed at me. Hey, I was a quick study. Actually, I was in my twenties and desperately afraid of embarrassment (also read rejection); and my boss had a very loud voice and liked to hold conference calls. I was highly motivated to do what needed to be done. For every problem, there was a solution; and I learned to find it without fanfare, or excuse.
“If you think you’re so enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],” says Ram Daas, a contemporary spiritual teacher. Perhaps like nobody else, my mom triggers the wounds she helped create, and is no longer responsible for. She is not grating on me these days, though. Instead, she reminds me that I have come a long way, as she has; and that we are uniquely qualified to empathize with each other. I can be vulnerable now; I can ask her to listen even when it seems like she’d rather talk. And you know what,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she has never, ever refused a request. To the contrary, I can think of many times over the years when she offered to help, and I let my pride (read: fear of rejection) get in the way.
The mother of all that threatens us, all that scares us, and all that triggers our negative emotion is the fear that there’s something wrong with us,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or that we are unworthy of love. If you believe in the God within, it’s easy enough to invalidate the fear that you’re not good enough, right? At least intellectually.
I just went on trying to act like I was okay and, apparently, all the practice paid off. To this day, everybody seems to think I’m fine, whether I am or not. I grow weary of being strong and holding my head up. Sometimes I am spent and still coming up short … and nobody seems to notice. I want to scream, “I’m a person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], too.” But I know it’s not really a cry of worthiness; it is a cry of insecurity. It’s as though I want to be a person. I want to be worthy of time and attention, and I want somebody to acknowledge that I am.
My mom was 72 years old when—for the first time in her life—she asked for my help. She was driving to an assisted-care center to throw a homespun Christmas party for the residents when a semi-truck drove into the side of her passenger van. Catapulting from the van, she landed on the asphalt with a dislocated shoulder, a fractured collar bone, broken ribs, and a punctured lung. A few days later, when the hospital was about to release my mom, she called and asked me if I could possibly come and help her when she arrived home. This was a first. She had called me now and then saying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Honey, can I ask a favor?” But then she’d proceed to read me some legal mumbo jumbo and ask what I thought it meant, or she’d ask me if it would be too much trouble to type a letter for her. Now, she was asking me—taking me up on my offer, really—to stay with her until she could take care of herself.
So, I wasn’t surprised to read the findings of the well-published study “A Strange Situation,” “One-year-olds had learned at their tender age to bottle up their feelings.” A child can look fine and not be crying, yet still be distressed. The obvious problem is that when there is no distress signal, the damsel in distress is unlikely to be saved! A half a century later, apparently I’m still not so skilled at sounding distress. Either that, or nobody’s listening! Wait a minute; I’m supposed to know this, right? Everybody around me is sufficiently taxed … and many of them are giving off their own distress signals.
I don’t want to pretend that I’m fine because I’m afraid of rejection, or act as though I’m fine because intellectually I know that I am. I want to feel fine and happy with nothing bottled up to distress me—no dissonance in my thinking, or between my thoughts and my behavior. My only job in life is to grow up into God, or love. To pull it off I have to step away from my ego—or my defensive façade—and be me. The only thing that stops me, the only thing that has ever stopped me, the only thing that can ever stop anybody is fear. Ultimately, it is not what I say or do that determines how fine I am. It is what motivates my words and my actions … and that is always fear OR love, love being my authentic self.
The problem is that sometimes I’d rather maintain the I-have-it-all-together stance than join the ranks of the “crazy,” or risk asking for support that somebody’s not prepared to give me. That would mean feeling rejected. When you’re not willing to risk rejection, though, you don’t get a lot of warm fuzzy acknowledgment, either. Even when people do offer help, I’m apt to say, “Oh, I’m fine.” But God knows, I appreciate the question! When I first started turning down help, I thought I had better manage without it in order to be accepted and loved. Now, it’s a habit I’m still learning to break.
Granted, this is new territory for me. With the “ugly dress” encounter, I got more self-conscious and tried harder to be pretty enough and smart enough and nice enough, to be good enough. Because let’s face it, I didn’t just think my dress was ugly; I thought I was flawed. Of course, I can’t blame Gail for that. She probably just confirmed a notion I’d already bought into. I didn’t know then that feelings of inferiority were universal, and we were biologically programmed to be sensitive to rejection—acceptance of the tribe being our protection, and survival. I was not that smart; in fact, maybe I wasn’t that smart, period. I didn’t know what “normal” was; I just thought it must be different from my life. I thought it must be something more like what I saw in fairy tales. Who knew fairy tales weren’t normal? Don’t tell me, the smart kids.
During my stay on the couch outside my mom’s bedroom, I would hear her call my name. It didn’t matter what time of day or night it was. I could hear her breathing. I was like a mother. At the age of 45, I was caring for the child I never had; and she was my mom. I didn’t feel imposed on; I felt privileged, despite the fact that I was already “sufficiently taxed.” It was a divine gift, a blessing from God Himself. Finally, I could see my mother as vulnerable, and I’ve never seen her as more strong or beautiful. She had asked for my help! And, with all of my heart, I was there for her. When a wrinkle in the sheet felt like a lump in the mattress to her bruised body, I smoothed it. When she wanted white grape juice instead, I went back to the store.
When I was sixteen, a guy who finally got up the nerve to approach me told me that he used to think I was very pretty, but stuck-up. That’s when I first realized that my insecurity could paint me as aloof or snobby. In retrospect,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was probably a little relieved. Also in retrospect, I didn’t quite feel pretty unless somebody told me I was. Sure running to the mirror every fifteen minutes to see if you still look good is part of adolescence, but I think it was more than that. We all tend to think we’re more different from others than we actually are, but I didn’t know this until I read Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness (and he didn’t publish it until 2005).
My mom says that when I was a baby, they could pick me up, and I was fine and happy. They could put me down, and I was still fine and happy. No crying. For decades, I thought what a perfectly delightful baby—so pleasant, no matter what. I wonder now, though, if I was ever really fine and happy. Maybe I just intuited that everybody around me was sufficiently taxed, and that I had better be fine and happy!
Memory of anything before five fails me, but there’s another story my mom likes to tell. When I was about two, I used to walk around the house picking up “fuzzies” from the carpet, and then walk them over to the trash can. Hey, rather than be a burden, I was doing what I could to clean house. Even now, I feel better in a clean house, but doesn’t everybody? Come to think of it, I probably heard my mom explaining to my two older sisters that they had to do their chores before they could play. By the time I was their age, that message was permanently lodged in my psyche. Work was not an option; it was a prerequisite to being a viable part of the family. I was a quick study—probably had it down as a toddler.
With the super woman syndrome still going full force, it’s easy to get scared and resort to, “I had better be fine and happy,” rather than risk rejection. The implication is that I had better be different,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], more, and better than I really am! Ah, and given the economic and global climate, it’s easy to feel like I better tough it out. This is hardly the time to cave, right? I had better step up to the plate and feign, if necessary, having it all together. At a minimum, I had better eat well (which may mean I also have to earn well, shop well, and cook well), exercise well, rest well, pray well, and stay up on what it means to do all of that these days. That seems like a full plate already. But, hey, if I do all that, without getting too bogged down in impressing other people or going numb, I begin to know and appreciate what’s inside. That’s when I find my worth and begin to stop trying to prove it to everybody else! And that’s also when I begin to truly love others well. God requires nothing more of me; nor should I.
Just practicing religion, or spirituality as I now prefer to call it, having waded through the dogma to love, is supposed to make everything fine, right? Well, yes, but first it’s supposed to help us face what’s not fine. It sure is tempting to jump the gun, though! We want to think we’ve made it. And when we only think we’ve made it, we want everybody else to think we’ve made it (very telling!). That’s when something, or somebody, blows up in our face, and we lose it, bringing us back to the reality of what it means to be a spiritually evolving human being, what it means to face what makes us feel threatened.
In Joshua Kadison’s “Invisible Man,” he sings: “Then I heard my self shout out the window, not really talking to anyone. I yelled, ‘Here I am, here I am, here I am ... but why do I feel like the invisible man?’ Lights went on, people started yelling, ‘Will the crazy man go back to bed.’ And there I was, laughing out my window, feeling much better now, somebody heard what I said.”
It’s really the scared little girl who wants to scream. I, the all-grown-up Jan, have long ago discovered my authentic self,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my divine essence of love; and I know love is enough. Probably like you, I have wooed the little girl, the wounded child within, and assured her that there was never really anything wrong with her, and that she really is fine. And I’m still grateful to John Bradshaw (in Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child) for teaching me to do that! Evidently, when there’s just too much fuzz on the rug, though, the little girl still has her doubts about fine and happy. Things don’t get tough that often, or maybe they do, and I just play tougher. As a child, that’s how I learned to win approval.
To this day, I don’t like to ask for anything somebody isn’t prepared to offer me freely. I want to be unimposing and carry my own weight. When that’s not enough to win acceptance, I suppose I resort to being helpful or pretty or smart or giving, or all of the above. And, yes, I think it all started when I was too young to reason, but old enough to be very sensitive to rejection.
“The seed of God is in us,” said Meister Eckehart. “Given an intelligent and hard-working farmer, it will thrive and grow up to God, whose seed it is; and accordingly its fruits will be God-nature. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and God-seed into God.”
No, I’m Fine, Really
There’s No Reason to Reject Me
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

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It is the "use it or lose it" principle in action.
For example, driving which can be difficult at first becomes automatic later on, playing the piano seems hard until you master it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], meditation can be perceived as a weird and a useless action. That is until you practice it and then it becomes an essential tool for your wellbeing and happiness: again it becomes an automatic function.
But you may ask: "How can I start changing my behaviours in order to change my brain?"
After following these 5 steps your brain pathways will be changed. That's why you will be able to lose the urges to binge, purge or starve yourself.
As a result your eating disorder can be stopped for the rest of your life.To read more about neuroplasticity training for eating disorders go to
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But if you change these destructive behaviours and replace them with other behaviours - your brain pathways will start to change and when the brain pathways changes, you will lose the urge to binge-purge or starve yourself.
So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], all normal actions turn into automatic actions when we do things regularly. But on the contrary,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when we stop doing certain actions - we simply forget how to do them. Like learning a foreign language at school, we soon forget it if we stop using it. This is because those certain brain pathways we built through learning stopped being stimulated by action and they disappeared.
You see,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for every single action we regularly do there are special brain pathways in our heads. Many actions we do become automatic the more we do them and we don't think about doing them because certain brain pathways in our head get activated and it is all automatic.
The same happens with eating disorder behaviours. Binging-purging and starving becomes automatic actions: we do them and it doesn't matter how hard we try to stop we can't,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This is because special eating disorder pathways are getting activated automatically in our heads: we built them over time with our own destructive behaviours,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can do in a special way. Here I will show you 5 steps which you can follow to achieve the desirable changes in your brain.
This new method to overcome your eating disorder is based on Neuroplsticity. Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change. To explain this exactly: the first part neuro,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], is for neurone (which are the nerve cells in the brain) and plasticity means plastic or changeable.
The motto for this treatment is "change your behaviour - change your brain".
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1st step: BELIEF that you can stop your eating disorder,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
2d step: Re-IDENTIFY
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5th step: Re-EVALUATE
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Let’s look at some facts about ADD and ADHD: people have long observed a cluster of symptoms that occur in a person of average or above average intelligence who seems unable to function in a competent, masterful way.

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So … Why wait? Act now and start using these techniques to help you sleep better throughout the night! In addition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I would strongly urge you to read my other articles related to insomnia as I have written more than 2 techniques that can cure your insomnia instantly and efficiently with ease.
Here are a few tips that you can take:
Be well rested
Don’t start the trip with sleep debts. You had be surprised to find that many people overlook this part of the anti-jet lag program and run themselves ragged right before leaving for vacation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Drink beverages wisely
Since re-circulated air is dehydrating, drink as much water as possible before you take flight. A good idea is to drink at least a few of those small bottles the airlines give out.
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How to sleep well technique #2: Buy a comfortable mattress
Poor sleep = low energy. Hence, if you are not getting the sleep you need, an outdated and uncomfortable mattress may be the culprit. If you have hung on to the same mattress for more than ten years – or if you are waking up feeling stiff and sore – then it’s time to go mattress shopping. A new mattress can do many wonders including getting you a high quality sleep during the night. And a high quality sleep means that it can do wonders for your energy level throughout the day too! However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], finding the right mattress is like finding the right mate, you need to choose the right one as what’s perfect for one person might be all wrong for the next.
Here are the techniques to “how to sleep well?”
How to sleep well technique #1: Fly free of jet lag
In the days when world travel meant crossing the sea in an ocean liner and not by plane,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], our bodies would gradually cross time zones, and our internal clock would be in sync with the environment. Well, we kissed those days goodbye a long time ago.
Do you know the right techniques to getting a good sleep? Well, I do. That is why I am writing this article today. I want to share my knowledge on the certain techniques that I used to cure my insomnia once and for ALL! In addition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], these techniques on how to sleep well are proven to be effective by many other patients who are suffering from insomnia too!
As technology advances,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we now jet across time zones in hours and not days, and hence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we often experience an unsettling feeling called circadian misalignment whereby our internal clock is out of sync with the external environment. Because our internal clock controls many of the body’s functions, jet lag can leave you with digestive problems, headaches, and of course, insomnia. Furthermore, it can also cause many problems with memory, attention span,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], judgment, and communication, all especially troubling for business travelers.
The time of day that you travel, the direction, and of course, the distance all factor into how jet lag might affect your daily activities. Traveling from east to west tends to be easier on our bodies simply because we’re heading into the sun.
So what’s the technique on how to get a good sleep then?
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It is even said that smoking one cigarette can decrease your lifetime by one minute. So imagine how many minutes have already been cut down from your life after you have smoked several packs a week.